It's A Nice Day For A White Wedding
by Fic99
Summary: FrostIron MPreg and semi-crack. Tony and Loki get married. Can be read as a sequel to my fic 'If You Say So,' or as stand-alone. Rom-com style humour.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is for thephoenixandthedragon4ever, who wanted a shotgun wedding. I hope I don't disappoint :)**

 **This is probably going to be about 3 or 4 chapters of semi-crack-y randomness.**

* * *

"Well? Aren't you even going to _ask_ him?"

"Bruce, I think he made it _quite_ clear that he doesn't want to get married."

Bruce gave Tony an exasperated look. The look that said _'how dense can you get?'_ Tony was used to getting that look a lot. Loki gave it to him at least once a day.

"Am I missing something?" Tony sighed.

"Think about what you know about Loki, Tony. Is he the kind of guy who _wouldn't_ want a ceremony showing him how much you love him? Showing your commitment to both him _and_ your unborn child? Because parties and ceremonies and a big fuss with lots of attention and significance attached, they're not things _Loki_ would want, right?"

"So why would he say... no, _scream_ and magicky-zap... that he _didn't_?"

Bruce rolled his eyes, "Did you _talk_ about getting married – before you told Thor that Loki's pregnant?"

"Well... no. I was pretty good about the whole my-boyfriend-is-pregnant-thing, but, we didn't even _mention_ marriage – so I figured it wasn't an issue."

Bruce slapped Tony across the face.

"Ouch! Bruce! What was that for?!"

"That was on behalf of Steve, who would punch you in the jaw if he heard you talking like that, _and_ on behalf of Loki, who is pretty emotionally fragile under that narcissistic, over-confident, exterior– something _you_ should know about – and is clearly only insisting he doesn't want to get married because he thinks that _you_ don't want to marry him!"

 _"What?!"_

Bruce face-palmed, "I swear to God, Tony, you're lucky Loki's in love with you, because otherwise he would've turned you into a turnip or something by now. At least then the contents would match the wrapper."

"Was that an insult? Or a dinner request? Cos I could actually do with some turnip soup... Wait, _Loki's in love with me?!"_

Bruce took several deep, calming, breathes, "Do you want me to Hulk-out? Because right now it's tempting... As the closest thing to a real live human best-friend that you have, I have to inform you, Tony, that your pregnant boyfriend is, in fact, in love with you. So in love with you, in fact, that he's insisting – very defensively – that he doesn't want to get married, because he's terrified that if _he_ asks _you_ then you'll say no and he'll end up feeling rejected... _again._ And that if he – or me, or Thor, or Cap, or anyone else - gets _you_ to ask _him_ , then you'll do it out of _duty_..."

"...and not because I love him and want to marry him."

He nodded.

Tony bit his lip, _"Shit."_


	2. Chapter 2

Tony held Loki's hair back out of his face. Morning sickness.

After a few more minutes of some pretty unpleasant retching, Loki sighed and straightened, "OK," he murmured, "I think that's it for the time-being."

Tony pulled him close, ignoring the smell of sweat and sickness. He placed a gentle hand over Loki's small bump of a stomach, rubbing little circular motions across the skin, cradling the body that his child was growing in.

"Alright," Loki half-laughed, pushing his lover gently away, "I _need_ to change my clothes, Tony! I stink!"

"Do not!" Tony laughed, pressing his nose against Loki's skin and inhaling deeply.

"Yuck!" Loki yelped. "Should I be worried that you don't smell that?"

"Nah babe, it's all good."

* * *

"Did _everybody_ but me know that Loki wanted a proposal?" Tony asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

The others around the table looked at him like they would a small child. They were in the meeting room, even though it wasn't a meeting so much as a gossip/'yell at Tony' session.

"I thought you were supposed to be smart," Tasha quipped.

"I thought so too," Bruce agreed from across the room, "but apparently he _is_ that stupid."

"Cheese and crackers, Tony!" Cap put in, "How could you _be_ so irresponsible?"

"Yes," Tasha said wearily, before Tony could ask, "He _did_ just say that."

Tony turned to her, grinning, " _Really?_ That's just great."

"Tony!" Bruce snapped, clicking his fingers to get Tony's attention back, "Point in hand? Are you going to propose?"

"Well... _yeah._ I kind of... was wondering _how,_ though."

Clint made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat, _"Seriously?_ You want _tips_ on how to propose to the evil alien you knocked up?"

"Hey! A little respect, soldier," Cap barked.

Clint scowled but said nothing else.

"Soooo..." Tony smiled, moving on, "anyone know _how_ to propose to my pregnant alien-god boyfriend _without_ completely messing up and getting my dick blown off by a pissed-off sorceror's magic blast?"

Widow smirked, "I'd pay to see that."

Bruce grimaced, "Yeah... I'd rather not have that mental image myself."

Tony sighed dramatically, "Ideas, guys...?"

* * *

Candles. All over their suite. And rose petals. That was nice.

Loki was taken aback for a moment, and then smiled a curling smile. Maybe he did care.

"Loki, my love?" Tony, walking towards him, wearing a tux, hand outstretched gallantly, "Why don't you join me for a while?"

He took Tony's hand – he was always surprised by how much he enjoyed its warmth. Tony must find Loki's own hand an iceberg against his skin. He never mentioned it. Loki was thankful for that display of tact.

Tony led him through to the window, where he had placed an elegant high-backed chair. Nothing more, just the chair. Loki had been expecting that all this was leading to a nice romantic dinner. Now he was slightly confused.

"Tony-..."

"Shhh, babe. I have some things I wanna say."

Loki closed his mouth hesitantly, waiting for Tony to speak. Tony looked at the chair pointedly, until Loki got the picture and sat, sinking into the velvet and lolling deliciously against the arm-rest. It made Tony's throat go kind of dry.

Loki raised an eyebrow as Tony got down on both knees in front of the chair.

"Who would've thought," Tony mused gently, "that one day I'd be more than willing to kneel for you."

He reached out and took Loki's hand in his, warming it with his fingers. His face was full of love in the candlelight.

"Loki, baby... I love you. I don't know what I'd do without you by my side. I know that you've already honoured this... mere mortal..." a wry grin, "so greatly; by allowing me to touch _every_ part of you; by taking me into your bed, your life, and, I hope, your heart."

Loki's eyes were wide and strangely trusting; glinting in the lights. It made Tony nervous – but he was determined to do this. He was going to _prove_ to this man just how much he loved him.

"...I love you so much," he continued, voice getting increasingly choked up now. "My beautiful Loki... will you..." he pulled a ring box from his tux, opened it to reveal a bright and shining diamond, "will you... allow me to love you the way you _should_ be loved, and agree to be my husband?"

 _"You...?"_

"Marry me, Loki."

Pregnancy hormones conspired against him, made him more open than he'd normally allow himself to be. His throat caught a little.

 _"Tony,"_ he whispered. _"Yes,"_ maybe there was a tear or two – but Tony would've never suggested such a thing. Loki's fingers curled tightly around his, and it was perfect.

Loki laughed, "For _that_ diamond, I'd marry _Nick Fury."_

Tony chuckled in return, "Then I'm glad I asked first!"


	3. Chapter 3

"The caterers want to go through the menu _again,_ and then there's some sort of problem with the florist... and I _really_ think you need to talk to Loki," Bruce told him, eyes fixed on his face.

"What? Why?" Tony looked up from answering e-mails on his phone.

"Because he's currently locked himself in your suite and we can't turn the wedding planner back into a real human woman without him."

"Fuck."

"That was my general response, yes."

"What did he turn her _into?"_

Bruce looked at him, and pointed to a glistening frosted figure by the tower's reception desk, "Did you _not_ wonder where the wedding-planner-style ice-sculpture came from?"

Tony's eyes widened, and he took a step towards her, "Please tell me she's alive."

"Seems to be – I checked, and her vitals are stable... somehow. She'll be fine as long as no-one smashes her, and she doesn't melt. That's why we've left the air-con on full-blast."

"Shit."

"His magic's getting weirder," Bruce commented.

Tony rubbed a tired hand over his eyes, "Yeah... he's... he's got some issues with the hormones and apparently the baby is concentrating his power so that it... it... I don't know, I fell asleep after that. It was like two in the fucking morning and he was throwing up everywhere, and the toilet was complaining about it."

 _"The what...?!"_

"Yeah. Unstable magic, plus throwing up, apparently equals talking toilet. And it turns out that toilets are really pissy at two in the morning."

"I imagine toilets are pretty pissy, generally, Tony."

"I hate you Brucie, you know that?"

* * *

"Loki? Babe – open the door."

"No."

"Babe, I can't help you if you don't open the door."

The door cracked. An eye at the jamb. An orb of red. _Oh jeez,_ Tony thought, _not again._

"Shhh," Tony whispered, pushing the door open gently, and taking the cold blue body in his arms, "you know I don't care – you know I think you're beautiful. Come on, babe," he grabbed Loki's hand, leading the now belly-round frost giant to the bed, "let's get you nice and comfortable."

"I'm blue again."

"Yep."

"I don't want to be blue. Why am I blue? I'm _hideous_ Tony!"

Tony turned round, hurt by the despair in his fiance's voice, "Babe," he muttered sadly, "you will never be hideous."

He drew Loki back into him, hugging him tightly, despite the cold, "How much sleep did you get?"

"Not much," Loki murmured into Tony's neck.

Loki's skin was warming, becoming paler, his eyes returning to green.

"You get some rest now," Tony sighed into his hair, leading him gently to the bed, "and when you're feeling a bit better, we'll go and defrost the nice lady who's supposed to plan our wedding."

"But I don't like her," Loki told the pillow.

"Why Lokes?"

"Said mean things... 'bout me and you... and 'bout the baby. I got angry. After I froze her I went blue. I don't like being blue."

"When she's defrosted I'll have a word with her. Sleep now, babe."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Ok, this _was_ going to be the last chapter. But now there's going to be another one. Because Tony and Loki took so long getting ready that they haven't actually got married yet!**

 **Oh, the talking toilet is back... not entirely sure _why_ – but there you have it.**

 **Also, I now need to go fill the swear jar. Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

"I can't get it to go right!" Tony squalled in exasperation. Bruce stepped in and tied the bow-tie for him.

"Stop fussing Tony, it'll be fine."

"How can I stop fussing Brucie – _how can I stop fussing?!_ I'm getting married today. I'm getting _married._ To my pregnant boyfriend. In front of like... _everyone_. And something's going to go wrong. I mean sure, we managed to defrost the wedding planner, and I gave her a nice settlement and an even _nicer_ gagging order to stop her going to the press. Then I fired her fucking bitch-ass because _no-one_ calls _my child_ a freak of nature, or the love of my life a cunt-for-hire..."

Bruce gasped, _"That's_ what she did to make him angry?"

"I know... I was actually quite proud of him for only turning her into an ice sculpture instead of, y'know, torturing and/or killing her. She threatened to sue. But I have some _very_ specific contracts with my employees – too many alien attacks and super-villains around here for standard legal documents."

* * *

Loki giggled, making Thor look up from where he had been fastening his brother's ceremonial robes.

"What is it little brother?" Thor asked.

Loki smiled, his eyes a little watery, "The child, Thor... it's kicking!"

A beam broke across Thor's face, "May I...?" he asked, putting a hand forward to hover just above his brother's notably round stomach.

Loki nodded, still smiling serenely.

Thor tentatively placed his large palm against his brother's warm flesh. Loki watched him as his smile grew greater, and his eyes grew wide.

"That's my little niece or nephew," he whispered.

Loki nodded gently, "It is," he murmured, and then grew quiet, the smile slipping from his face.

"Are you... alright... little brother? You are not in pain?"

Loki bit his lip and shook his head, "No..."

"...But something troubles you?" Thor looked at him with puppy-like concern.

"What... what if the child is not well? I... I am Jotun, and Anthony is human. What will my baby look like, Thor? Will he, or she, have to suffer the Jotun form? What if there are physical problems? What if... what if my magic, my _essence_ , has somehow _harmed_ my child?"

Tears slipped down Loki's face. Thor looked at him with both pride and concern.

* * *

"Oh my God, oh my God! Brucie, I can't do this! I can't _do this!"_

"Tony, calm the hell down and go to your happy place."

"But I can't be someone's... someone's... _husband!_ " Tony sank heavily into the chair in front of the mirror.

Bruce strolled over, and promptly smacked him over the head.

"Ow! Bruce! What the fuck, man?!"

"I thought we'd got all of this cleared up, but apparently not. If I have to smack sense into you all the way up the aisle, I will. Do you love Loki?"

"Well... yeah."

"Then get your ass ready – you are _not_ going to hurt him by being a total jerk. You can _not_ screw him around. You owe it to Loki, and to _yourself_ to do this! Come on asshole, you're getting ready, and you're getting married!"

"I hate you Brucie."

"I know."

* * *

"Brother?"

"Yes, Thor?"

"This Midgardian latrine appears to be commenting on my... _size..._ it is most off-putting."

"Shit! I thought I'd fixed the blasted thing."

 _"You_ did this?"

Loki sighed and rolled his eyes, despite the fact that he knew that Thor couldn't see him from inside the bathroom.

"Well," Loki sighed, "given the amount of time I've _spent_ in the bathroom, it was bound to be affected. This little joy of mine seems to enjoy twisting my magic within me... not to mention the hormones causing me to... what was it Tony said? 'Act out.' It turns out that pregnancy is not easy for mages," he gave a hollow chuckle.

Thor exited the bathroom looking perturbed.

Loki gave him a shrewd, searching, look, "Go back in," he said, "and wash your hands."

"But the _latrine_..."

"Is not what you should be washing your hands in. And the basin is less of a perv. Go wash your hands."

* * *

Thor fastened the choker around his brother's neck. He didn't think he'd ever seen Loki look so... _beautiful._

He was garbed in a gossamer-like green material, cut somewhere between a man's and a woman's toga. It did not hide the babe, but neither did it bring undue attention to Loki's mid-section. He wore a delicate gold-lace cape, shining out beautifully against his black hair. The choker was of obsidian, as dark as his raven locks, with a single red ruby providing the centre stone.

"Well...?" Loki asked nervously, his eyes darting to Thor's.

"Friend Stark is the luckiest man on this, or any other, planet," Thor smiled.

This was what he had wanted for Loki, after all: happiness.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**

 **Here it is guys - the last chapter, the big day! Mostly fluff to finish.**

 **I made up the Asgardian ceremony, vows, dowry, etc. So as far as I'm aware, none of it is canon.**

* * *

The day is cold but bright. Steve straightens out his cuffs as they wait in the lobby of the venue. He shoots Hawkeye a look when the archer complains about the long wait.

This place is big, fancy. Steve feels out of place. Tasha looks stunning. Coulson looks dapper. And Fury, inexplicably, turned up. Turns out this was something he wanted to see for himself.

"But why do I have to wear a suit?"

 _"Clint,"_ Tasha sighed, "please just shut the fuck up."

* * *

The hall is _huge._ There are actual, honest-to-God, _chandeliers,_ hanging from the ceiling – they're large, but in here they look small. The chairs are all padded and velvet and luxury – Steve can't help wondering how much they cost.

"How does a guy _get_ pregnant?"

Steve glares at him, "Not the time, not the place, and _not_ the tone of voice, Clint."

"What?" Clint grins, "I'm genuinely curious."

"No, soldier," Coulson puts in, "I'm very happy for them, but I've seen Bruce's medical reports. You don't wanna know the details. Trust me. You don't want _that_ image in your head."

"Point taken," Clint muttered.

* * *

For all that the hall was large, Tony and Loki hadn't actually invited that many people. Just people they trusted, people they loved enough to want to share their day with (and Fury, who they never actually expected to show up.)

The guest list was small, then, and almost entirely Tony's.

Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three were the only guests from Asgard. They were an official delegation, though, and had come bearing Loki's 'dowry,' - jewels that had made Tony's jaw drop, but which had left Loki somewhat quiet; Thor had put his arms around his brother, and assured him that it was meant as a compliment rather than an insult.

It seemed that, on Asgard, dowries were for _daughters_ ; men were gifted _weapons_ on their marriage day. Giving Loki jewels _may_ have been the thoughtfulness of a father for his non-military-minded, pregnant, son. Jewels suited Loki _far_ more than a mace or a battle-axe would have, and the reason behind the tradition of jewel-giving was to ensure that any _children_ born to a marriage would never face financial hardship – and so relevant here.

But Tony and Thor knew that, good intentions or not, Loki saw it as yet _another_ sign that Odin did not value him as a son; but hell, today was for happiness. They wouldn't let him dwell on things.

* * *

Tony waited at the front of the aisle between the chairs. There wasn't an altar, because this wasn't a church, but it was where the altar would have been.

Bruce watched him as he fiddled with his cufflinks, "Nervous?" he asked.

Tony grinned, "You could say that."

Bruce could see the sweat forming on his brow. Oh yeah, Tony was fucking nervous all right.

A few harp chords rang out (no 'here comes the bride' for Loki, hell no!) Tony straightened himself. Loki was coming.

The murmurs started at the back of the hall. Pleasant murmurs – those of admiration.

Then Tony could see Loki coming down the aisle. And the god nearly took his breath away. _Was he dreaming? No, honestly, was he passed out after his bachelor party or something?_

Thor's arm was linked with Loki's. He walked Loki solemnly and protectively down the aisle, taking his big brother role very seriously. Loki had that _smile_ on his face – the smile that Tony knew meant that baby Stark had been kicking. And Loki looked so _goddamned_ beautiful!

They stopped short next to Tony and Bruce.

"Tony Stark," Thor boomed happily, "you have won the heart of one of Asgard's finest. You have picked one of Asgard's most beautiful blooms. You have achieved the honour of my brother, Prince Loki, as your betrothed; are you _worthy,_ Man of Iron, of such a prize?"

They had discussed what sort of ceremony they wanted. Tony didn't really care, so he allowed Loki to have the Asgardian marriage rites – that way, there would be no argument over the legality of the union in Asgardian law.

"I declare that I am worthy," Tony responded, sounding a lot more confident than he felt.

Thor nodded, "You will bring an advantageous union? You will honour your spouse? You will satisfy his sexual needs?"

Tony could hear uncomfortable muttering from the guests (and an audible outraged gasp from Cap,) and grinned, "I certainly will."

Thor nodded again, turning to Loki, and lifting his brother's hand with his own, "You, dear brother – do you willingly accept Anthony Howard Stark, the Man of Iron, as worthy of being espoused to yourself?"

Loki nodded, licked his dry lips, "Yes," he smiled.

"As the higher in rank, you understand that your partner is beneath you in nobility?"

"Yes."

"You are willing to stay with him for the duration of his mortal life? To love him as a spouse ought? To not begrudge the lowering of your status in the eyes of many through this union?"

"I certainly am."

Tony shifted slightly from foot to foot. He could feel Bruce's best-man eyes on the back of his neck. He could feel the stares of the other Avengers, and everyone else who had been lucky enough to receive an invitation. He hadn't explained this to anyone – that Loki, by marrying him, was making himself less of a real prince, and more of an 'honorary' prince, in the eyes of traditional Asgardians; and that he'd agreed to Tony's proposal without Tony realising this.

But Thor was continuing, "You agree to let this man share your bed? To grant him access to your body?"

Loki smirked widely, "I think it's a little late to be asking me that," he chuckled, "but yes, I agree."

Thor gave a gentle smile, "Then I, Thor, Crown Prince of Asgard, give to the honourable Anthony Howard Stark, this day, the hand of my brother, Loki, Prince of the realms of Asgard and Jotunheim; son of Odin and Frigga, son of Farbauti and Laufey; the liesmith; the silver-tongue, and my beloved brother."

He passed Loki's hand to Tony, who took it.

"My dear Loki," Tony choked out, "bind yourself to me. Love me forever, as I love you," Bruce stepped forward with two intricate gold bands resting on a small ring pillow, Tony picked up one; "Take this ring," he slid it onto Loki's finger, feeling a _thrum_ of magical energy passing between them, "and be mine."

"My dearest Tony," a calm smile curled Loki's lips, and he tried not to giggle as the babe kicked him playfully from the inside, "I am bound to _you_. I am loyal to _only_ you. I love you forever. Bind yourself to me now, and make our love complete. Love me forever, as I love you," he picked up the other ring, "Take this ring," he slid it smoothly onto Tony's warm finger, feeling a second _thrum_ of power, "and as _I_ am _yours,_ _you_ will be _mine_."

"By the power I am granted," Thor announced, "by the Allfather, the all-seeing Norns, and," his brow furrowed as he tried to remember the Midgardian bit, "...the... _State_ of New York... I pronounce you espoused and wed! Kiss, and seal your bond!"

Tony swept Loki's hair out of his face with care, sending a shiver through his body. They kissed as if it were the first time, gentle and nervous, but hungry and wanting. A collective gasp was let out by the guests – the couple broke apart, and found themselves bathed in what could only be described as the Northern Lights... in the middle of a building in New York.

Tony raised an eyebrow at Loki.

Loki shrugged happily, "Magic," he said.

"Yeah," Tony replied, "you are."


End file.
